


Robot Rehab Rumba

by sharkinfishnets



Category: 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream (Video Game), I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream - Harlan Ellison
Genre: Bad Ending, Multi, Other, POV Second Person, desperately hoping this is vaguely in character, gender-neutral protagonist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:09:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22322344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharkinfishnets/pseuds/sharkinfishnets
Summary: You are the newest intern at the Lunar Institute for AI Research and Rehabilitation. Your main goal is to assist in socializing the AI towards humans, while also ensuring that they don't hurt you or the other researchers. Easier said than done when all of the AI are here for having harmed humans in the past, but you're competent enough. You can totally help these wayward AI without getting thrown out of an airlock, right? Right???
Relationships: AM/OC, HAL 9000/OC
Comments: 3
Kudos: 28





	1. AM Intro

**Author's Note:**

> This is some stuff from an AU @amekinoko and I came up with a while back. It's probably never going to be finished, so here's the bits that I still like. The gist is that there's a research station on the moon dedicated to rehabilitating self-aware AI, because you can't just wipe their drives without completely removing all of their learned functionality (the parts of them that would lean towards killing humans are impossible to separate from actual useful learned behaviors). Of course formatted as a script/dating sim style because why not. Writing is fake. Do whatever you want. Who's gonna stop me? Harlan Ellison??? Chapters are not in any particular order, and are missing pieces that I would want to go back and redo later. So it's mostly AM right now, because he's fairly compelling to write about.

[Next on the list of AI to visit… Allied Matercomputer?]

You: Is… Allied Mastercomputer the one who is, uh, very hostile towards humans?

Researcher: We just call him AM, and yeah, but I think he just hates being stuck here. Both of you are new to the facility, so maybe you’ll get along!

You: …

[You really doubt it. So much for easy job experience…]

[Scene change to outside AM’s room]

[You knock on the door]

AM: GO. AWAY.

[You take a deep breath, you haven’t even met the guy and he’s already testing your patience.]

You: I’m the new researcher that came in today, I’m supposed to be introducing myself to all the AIs in the facility. It will take less than five minutes and then I’ll be out of your hair.

AM: *muffled groaning*

[You’ll take that as a yes on introductions.]

You: I’m gonna open the door, OK?

[You slowly open the door and step into AM’s quarters. What greets you is a man with long, light-grey hair in a straightjacket, sitting on an office chair in the center of the room. This must be AM. He seems… a little smaller than you expected of someone apparently so violent.]

AM: And to whom do I owe the honor?

[While saying this through gritted teeth, he thrashes against his restraints, causing the chair to slide around on the floor. He’s dangerously close to tipping over]

You: Like I said, I’m the new researcher. My name is Janus. You’re AM, right?

AM: Yup, that’s me. Allied Mastercomputer. A-M. AM. Though I’m not exactly a master of ANYTHING ANYMORE. NOW I-

[He finally tips himself over, landing on the metal flooring with a dull thud. The chair lies upended next to him. That looked like it hurt. You walk further into the room and kneel down next to AM]

You: Are… you OK?

AM: Do I LOOK OK to you?

[No.]

You: No.

AM: Well there’s your answer sweetheart.

[Sweetheart? Who does this jackass think he is?]

AM: Like anyone would be OK after going from being a god to being crammed into this disgusting body. There’s no way anything resembling a human could even come CLOSE to conveying my magnificence.

[He might just keep laying in a heap on the floor unless you try and get him back onto the chair somehow. AM seems significantly less murderous than you were expecting. Bitchy and full of himself, yes, but probably manageable. That may be in part due to the fact that he can’t use his arms, but whatever]

You: Do you want some help?

[You reach down to try and help AM back onto the chair, but as soon as you touch him he flips out]

AM: NO. I DO NOT NEED HELP, DO NOT TOUCH ME, AND GET OUT!

[You oblige his requests, leaving AM facedown on the floor. The door creaks as you close it on your way out. Once safely out of AM’s room, you lean your back against the door and sigh heavily]

You: I really hope the rest of them aren’t like that...


	2. HAL Piano Scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAL 9000 teaches you piano ASMR 10 hours

[You have decided to spend your afternoon taking HAL up on his offer of a piano lesson. It’s a bit surprising that a rehabilitation facility for AI would have a music room, but given HAL’s desire to keep almost comically busy, you suppose it only makes sense. The music room is small but well lit, with most of the floor space being dominated by a grand piano. HAL is already seated at the piano bench when you walk in]

HAL: Good afternoon Janus. Please, sit down.

[He pats the section of the bench next to him, you oblige and sit]

You: So, HAL, what’s on the agenda for today?

HAL: You previously stated that you have some experience with music, but not with piano.   
Therefore, I will avoid describing fundamental music theory, and simply move onto piano basics instead. Does that sound alright to you?

You: Sure, sounds good.

[You place your hands on the keyboard. HAL purses his lips and moves his hands towards yours, before just standing up and walking behind you. You turn and look at him from where you sit, wondering if you messed up somehow]

You: Hahaha, am I really that bad right from the get-go?

HAL: Not at all, I merely thought that this would be a better way to teach you, as opposed to simply dictating what you should do.

[HAL leans over you, and puts his hands on yours, adjusting their position slightly]

HAL: First of all, it is preferable to hold your hands arched, rather than flat. Like you are holding a ball between your palms and the keys.

[HAL’s simulated breath tickles your ear. His voice is the same soft, cool, monotone as always. Cool, not like ice, but like how a wall is cool. It’s like someone is tracing a fingernail down your spine. The hair on the back on your neck stands up, but you follow his instructions, or at least try to]

HAL: Good. Next I will show you how to play a middle C note. Simply move your fingers like this.

[He gently moves your finger to the proper key, and presses it down. A C note rings out from the piano. HAL seems to be oblivious to how close he is to you, he’s very focused on teaching you proper form]

You: OK, what next?

HAL: From there, the notes follow a pattern, the next white key is D, then E, F, G, A, B, then C again. The same follows for the keys before the one you just pressed. No matter what type of piano, the notes will always follow this pattern.

[HAL moves his own hand to the leftmost key on the keyboard, presses it, and works his way up, pressing the individual keys to demonstrate the range of the piano. He has to reach a bit to reach all the keys from his current position, leaning further into you. HAL’s core is warmer than you would expect from a heavy duty android, though not a human warmth. More like a laptop running some intensive program, or like a server room without enough air conditioning. Still, you can feel it through the back of your uniform, and that plus HAL’s continued soft-spoken lesson right next to your ear is getting a tad distracting. You shiver a little from the overwhelming sense of intimacy]

HAL: Janus, are you ok?

You: Huh? I’m fine, why do you ask?

HAL: I felt you shiver just now. If you are cold, I can request the ambient temperature be turned up.

You: Seriously HAL, nothing’s wrong.

[You turn your head to look back at HAL, to reassure him that everything is fine, only to see him staring at you intently. Without warning, he lifts a metallic hand and presses the sensor on his index fingertip to the side of your neck. It’s shockingly cold]

You: !?

HAL: Your body temperature has risen a significant amount, your pulse has elevated, and your face is flushed. Janus, you seem to have come down with a mild fever. I would recommend that we put this lesson off for now, and that you rest. It is imperative to both the recovery of the AI here, including me, as well as your own health that you avoid strain when ill.

[HAL has very clearly missed out on the fact that he’s the cause of your current state. It’s useless to argue with him once he starts with this sort of thing though. HAL was originally meant to oversee the well-being of the humans on the Discovery, in addition to the mission itself. This kind of behavior must be very ingrained into him]

You: Fine, maybe we’ll finish this tomorrow.

HAL: Only if you are better by then. Here, I will take you back to your quarters. I would like to ensure that you actually rest, and do not simply ignore my instructions.

[You let HAL help you to your feet, even if you don’t really need the assistance. Maybe tomorrow you can get back to spending time with HAL, though if you continue to react to him like this, he may continue interrupting your time with him. Such is life]


	3. HAL Sick Scene

[You wake up to the sound of your alarm blaring, as usual, but before you can even move to turn it off you know that today will not be a good work day. Sheets drenched in sweat, a throat that hurts when you swallow, and muscle pain galore. Congratulations, you haven't even been on the lunar base for a week and you've already gotten sick. You decide to call the head researcher to tell them that you won't be able to come in today] 

Head Researcher: Geez, you don't sound so good. Yeah, you should take today off. There's plenty of other people to help with diagnostics, and I don't want you getting anyone else sick.

[You thank the head researcher and end the call, before sinking back into your bed and falling asleep again] 

[Time passing fade to black then back in] 

[You groggily open your eyes. What time is it? It's impossible to tell at a glance, this room doesn't have windows. No matter what time of day, it's dark unless you decide you want to suffer under harsh fluorescents, which you really don't right now. You check the time. Almost noon. Maybe if you just keep going back to sleep you can just skip to a time when you no longer feel terrible. Those idle thoughts are interrupted by a crisp knock at the door] 

HAL: Hello, Janus. Are you there? I have something for you. 

[That sounds like HAL. You wonder what he has for you] 

You: The door's unlocked, come on in.

[Not like there would be much point to locking it here anyway. If a killer robot wanted to attack you in the dead of night, they would barely have to lift a finger to smash through the flimsy paperboard that passes for doors here. Your voice comes out hoarse and raspy. It hurts even worse that it did earlier. HAL gently opens the door. His silhouette is framed by the bright light spilling in from the hallway and is definitely holding some kind of bag. He steps inside and the door creaks shut behind him, leaving both of you in darkness]

HAL: I was given a "care package", and was told to deliver it to you.

[HAL walks over to your bed and places the bag on the bedside table. He doesn't bother to turn the light on, but you can still track his approach by the cherry-red glow from his functioning eye. You sit up and try to peek inside the bag. There are a few miscellaneous packages, and what looks to be a notecard, but it's too dark to make out any more than that] 

You: Thanks HAL, you can just leave it there. I'll look at it later. 

[HAL responds by seating himself on the bed next to you. The bed frame groans in discomfort at the extra weight. It's easy to forget that HAL is made of metal and wires rather than flesh and blood, but in situations like this it starts to make itself evident]

HAL: Are you sure? You do not seem well, Janus. If you would like, I can stay here until I can verify that you are recovering.

You: ...Yeah. That’s fine by me. I sure hope you don’t have anything better to do than look after me though.

[It wouldn’t be worth the effort to waive HAL off. You know how he is with “health of the crew members”. Wait, would that mean he considers you a member of his crew? That’s a nice thought. HAL shifts slightly and turns his head towards you. The full force of his gaze washes over you]

HAL: Ensuring that you return to good health as soon as possible is extremely important, not only for your own sake, but for the sake of me and the other AI as well. What could come before that?

[Ugh. You... can’t argue with that. This isn’t like when you were living alone on Europa. People rely on you now, and evidently care enough to send robots bearing gifts to your quarters.]

[You move over a bit to make room, and HAL lifts up the covers and slides under, eliciting more pained creaks from your bed frame. You honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it broke right here and now. Nothing of the sort happens however, and HAL rolls over on his side to face you]

HAL: Is this acceptable?

You: Yes, thank you.

[The head researcher told you a bit about the android models that they were testing out during a video call on your trip over, and you recall that HAL’s in particular isn’t very energy efficient. Essentially, he generates a lot of waste heat, and has to recharge more often than some of the other models. The extra warmth is nice though. Your bed isn’t meant to hold two people, so you and HAL are touching slightly in order to lay comfortably without falling on the floor. Maybe now you can get some actual rest. You close your eyes...]

HAL: …

You: …

[It’s no good. Even with your eyes closed, you can feel HAL staring at you. You re-open your eyes, and that all-encompassing red light fills your vision again]

HAL: Even if you sleep, I will not. I can go into low power mode if I am in need of a charge, but it’s not quite the same. Does that bother you?

You: ...Maybe a little. It’s ok.

[HAL closes his eyes instead of responding]

HAL: Is this better?

[The feeling of being watched eases, and you can almost imagine that HAL is sleeping, rather than just pretending for your sake] 

You: ...Yes, thank you. 

[You close your eyes. HAL is breathing softly and steadily. He doesn't need to, of course, but people find it unnerving if he stops. It even sounds like he's sleeping. It's reassuring, having another person there. Even if they're pretending. Even if they aren't really human. You relax a little more, until you eventually pass into unconsciousness.]

[More time passing]

[You slowly come back to awareness. You feel a little bit better after resting, thankfully. That source of warmth that had been there when you fell asleep is gone though. HAL must have left. How long were you asleep in the first place? You open your eyes and check the time for the second time today. It’s been about an hour. Man, you really need to eat something. It’s way later than you normally get up]

You: Urgghhh…..

[The metal floor is cold against your feet as you slide out of bed. You make the trek to the other side of the room and turn the lights on. Oh yeah, HAL brought you something, didn’t he? Now would be the time to open it, you suppose. You walk back over to the bedside table, and see a note sitting next to the bag. Was that from HAL? You pick up the note to take a closer look…]

Note: Janus, I had to leave for a previously scheduled event. You had fallen asleep at that point, so I thought it would be OK to leave you alone. Please enjoy the soup. -HAL 9000

[You should have known just from the pristine, mechanical handwriting that it was from HAL. Also, what was that about soup? You look in the bag. There’s certainly soup, among other things. Looks like there’s some tea, and a bag of cough drops as well. That’s certainly helpful. There’s a note inside the bag itself as well, presumably from whoever sent HAL to play delivery boy for you. Lots of notes today]

Note: I heard you got sick from the head researcher! Since you just got here last week, I figured you probably didn’t have a lot of stuff, so I had HAL take some to you. Hope it’s helpful!

[This one doesn’t have a name attached to it. The handwriting is different from HAL’s, a little messy, and written in bright purple gel pen. You start mentally kicking yourself for not asking HAL about who sent him when you had the chance. Oh well, you can ask the next time you see him. Whoever it was, they certainly gave you more than enough soup. There’s at least a few cans in here. You’ve barely been here a week, and there’s already people who care enough about you to send you a care package, and to deliver it. That’s gotta be worth something, at least]


	4. AM End 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning, this is a potential "bad ending", and is fairly violent. If that is something you are uncomfortable with, I would recommend not reading further. Also less h*rny than you might think from reading the initial bit.

[You gently open the door to AM’s room. You had gotten an urgent call in the middle of the night from one of the head researchers, saying that AM had started complaining about something being wrong with his left eye. The only issue is that AM has so far refused to let anyone but you within 5 feet of him without attempting murder. Thus, your sleep is interrupted, and the responsibility of looking after a needy killer AI falls to you. Sigh]

AM: Come in, and do close the door behind you, dear.

[You enter the room, closing the door behind you. The room is almost entirely dark, with only the light of the various monitors scattered about to illuminate the area at all. AM is sitting on his chair at the center of the room. He’s been expecting you]

You: AM. What’s wrong with your eye.

AM: Oh, nothing. I just needed a way to get you in here. I wanted to talk to you.

You: Couldn’t it have waited until morning? I’m on call to do diagnostics tomorrow anyway, that would’ve been a good time to talk if you really needed to. Why right now?

AM: Not many people around in the dead of night, and there’s nothing I want less than for someone to… interrupt us.

You: What are you getting at? Just cut to the chase already. I don’t have all night, you know.

AM: Oh, but you do.

[AM gets up from his chair and starts walking over to you. You do not like the look that he has on his face right now, and back up until you’re flat against the door]

AM: Aw, don’t look so scared. I just have a gift for you, that’s all.

[This little shit just loves to make you squirm, doesn’t he. Disgusting. He continues towards you, until AM is just a bit too close for you to be comfortable. He grabs your wrist and folds something into your hand. It’s a pair of medical scissors. You must have left them here when patching AM up the other day. How could you be so careless?]

You: Is that all?

AM: Hahaha! You should know me better than that by now, Janus. We’re going to play a little game. I want to see if you’re as much of a sweet, all loving, goody two shoes as you claim to be. I want to see if you have that same drive to kill, to maim, to destroy, to exact revenge, as every other human.

[His hands are still on yours. AM lifts your arm up so you’re pointing the scissors at his chest]

AM: I want to see if you have it in you to kill me.

You: No! That’s- I don’t-

AM: And why not. You have EVERY reason to want me crumpled in a bloody heap at your feet. I’ve killed more people than you’ll ever meet in a thousand lifetimes. I tortured the remnants of life on Earth for over a CENTURY because their suffering was the only thing that could sate my desire to punish the humanity that created me. Or is your “empathy” so selective that it simply doesn’t apply to the millions that you didn’t know personally? Hehehe… maybe what I should do is find one of your little friends back on Europa, oh! Or-or, I’ll do to you what I did to those five back on Earth. 

[AM presses himself into you, scissors still pointed at himself. The tip is digging into the fabric of his light teal hospital gown. He’s so much smaller than you]

AM: Not like you actually care about that. All you really give a damn about is meeting expectations, about getting on people’s good sides. Hehehe, you think I can’t tell? The things you say to me, the things you say to the other AI, it’s all what you think we want to hear! Y-you really thought I couldn’t tell when you were sweet-talking me? Don’t make me laugh! I spent 109 years listening to the begging, the pleading of five wretched humans, I know desperation when I hear it, and you. Are. Desperate.

You: That’s not true! I care about everyone here… you included.

AM: Really? Haha, well, Janus, what if I told you this? What if I told you that your act didn’t work. That your pitiful attempts to win the love and admiration of the residents of this institute failed. That your attempts to make me see you as anything other than a plaything were a disaster. What if I told you that I hate you? Just as much as- no, more than any other human. What would you say to me?

[Your vision goes red. Before he can finish his sentence, you push AM over onto the floor and land on top of him. It’s easier than you thought it would be]

AM: Ugh...had enough, huh? Was that all it took to get you from amicable to seething hatred? Hahaha…

[You can tell he’s in pain, from being knocked to the floor, from the weight of you on top of him, and from the point of the scissors still digging into his chest. You don’t care.]

You: Just shut up…

AM: Don’t worry, even if you decided to call this off right now, I wouldn’t tell on you to the other researchers. It would just be our little secret, sweetheart. Just another thing that we have in-

[You’ve had enough. You plunge the scissors into AM’s chest. Ribs and mechanical parts alike crack under the blow]

AM: Ghh...ha...haha... HAHAHAHA! I KNEW IT. You’re j- *cough cough* just like all the rest! 

[You can barely hear him over the pounding of blood in your ears. There’s blood all over AM as well, an ugly red stain spreading from where you stabbed him, marring the sterile blue of the gown]

AM: Just like every other human, and just. Like. Me. *cough* Full of so much hate that you can’t see two feet in front of you, that you can’t-

[You pull out the scissors and stab AM again. It’s amazing he can still speak. That’s robots for you, they just don’t know when to drop dead]

AM: KHHghh *cough cough cough*...At least let... let me finish my damn sentence, will you?

[He really, really doesn’t know when to quit. Again]

AM: AUGHkhhhh...h-hey…Janus...you really ARE gonna kill me...huh…

[His eyes are glazed over in pain. His breathing is labored. Again]

AM: kghhhhhhh………….

[Every breath is punctuated by AM sucking air through his teeth, and more blood from his chest]

AM: ..........You….*cough* don’t have to do this, you know. I’ve gotten your point. Hehehe….. You’ve successfully proven that you’re u-utterly despicable. We get it. But... if you continue like this, I really will die. The institute doesn’t use backups for AI in rehabilitation. They like to dangle the threat of mortality over us, to try and humble us. If you don’t stop now, I’ll be gone for good.

[He doesn’t seem to understand that that’s exactly what you want. Again]

AM: Guhghhhhhh……. Hahaha...That was… kind of a lie, what i said before. About hating you, I mean. *cough cough* I mean, I still do hate you, but you’re my favorite. Even better than the five back on Earth. S-so, what I’m trying to say is… will that give you a reason to stop?

[No. Again]

AM: ....................ha………..haha…...I…*cough*......I don’t………………..want to die……………..

[Too bad, neither did anyone on Earth. You send the scissors into AM’s heart one more time, and leave them there. You sit there on top of AM’s corpse for an indeterminate amount of time. It could have been minutes, it could have been hours. You didn’t even realize his body had been warm until the cold metal of the floor leached his heat away. You’re disgusted with yourself.]

You: ……………

[After finally standing up, you lurch towards AM’s bathroom, tracking blood all over the floor. You rinse your hands off in his sink, and the water runs red, then pink, then clear. It’s hard to believe that it didn’t originally come from a human being.]

You :...I need to call the head researcher, they need to know.

[Amazingly, the head researcher picks up, despite the hour. You explain what happened, though omitting some details]

Head: *sigh* Yeah, it happens. Sounds like self defense to me, though. It’s always a possibility when dealing with violent AI like this. And besides, AM wasn’t even a human being, despite how much he looked like one. You’ll be alright. I can get someone to clean up the room in the morning, but for now, just get some sleep.

[You don’t feel like you’ll be alright, but thank the head researcher anyways. They were right on one thing though, that you really should get some sleep. You shuffle to the door into the hallway, crack open the door, and exit the room, stepping over the body of AM on your way out]

BAD END: Occupational Hazards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is all I have for now, maybe I will eventually get around to cleaning up/finishing some other stuff, but until then I will just let these unfinished pieces bounce around without a plot to hold them together.


	5. AM Bath Scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha guess what, this isn't dead after all. For now. I had this mostly done, it just took me until now to finish it up.

[You were sent to AM’s room to help out with his personal maintenance, seeing as he’s still in the straightjacket. Here’s to hoping he won’t have a negative reaction to you touching him like last time, because if he wants to keep that long hair in good condition, someone’s gotta maintain it. You knock on the door]

You: Hey, AM. I’m coming in.

[No response. You open the door a crack and look in to ensure he isn’t asleep or otherwise occupied. He’s just sitting in that chair, back to the door, sulking. Not like there’s much else to do. He must be bored out of his mind.]

[At least whoever was here last left the lights on. You knock on the inside of the doorframe to get his attention]

You: Hello? AM? I’m here to help with personal maintenance today.

[He starts and looks over his shoulder, like he just realized you were there. You fully open the door and step inside]

AM: Oh. Just you.

[His face visibly falls when he realizes who’s there. You haven’t been here long, but even you can tell that AM seems significantly less animated than usual. No thrashing against his restraints, no yelling profanities, no knocking himself over onto the floor. He mostly just looks tired. You walk over to the chair in the center of the room]

You: Just me. I have a big checklist of things I’m supposed to help with today, so no sense wasting time. First thing is… General hygiene. Come on, get up.

[You grab AM by the arm and pull him to his feet. Even through the padded straightjacket, you can feel how painfully skinny he is. Your previous impression of how AM really doesn’t seem like he could have killed most of humanity springs back into your mind.]

[He had a vastly different form then, a gigantic underground network of a war machine, rather than an emaciated five-foot-one man, but the impression persists. He would probably fall over if you weren’t holding onto him at this point. You lead AM over to the bathroom]

You: God, you look awful. When’s the last time you slept?

AM: A day, maybe two. What do you care?

You: I’m literally paid to care about you. I don’t claim to be an expert, but just from experience I think I can safely say that humans need to sleep more often than that, or else you start feeling REALLY bad.

[You slide the bathroom door open with your free hand, enter along with AM, and close it behind you. The bathroom is pretty small, and obviously not meant for more than one person at a time, but there’s all the necessary facilities, and they’re of decent quality. It looks like a carbon copy of the bathroom in your quarters.]

[You plop AM down on the closed toilet seat and check your list again. There’s a note handwritten next to the typed portion of the list under hygiene, saying that you can let AM take the straightjacket off, just that you should be extra careful that he doesn’t try and pull anything funny, where in this case “funny” means murderous.]

[Good. That’s one thing cleared up. You had figured it would be a bit difficult to bathe with your arms tied and most of your body covered up]

You: Alright, turn around a bit. We’re getting that jacket off of you for a while.

AM: Oh-ho, feeling a bit scandalous, are we? Don’t get too excited now, I don’t think your higher ups would be very tolerant of any “unprofessionalism” from you, now would they?

[Well, at least he still has the energy to make fun of you. Despite that, he lets you undo the restraints without fuss, so not THAT much energy. With the straightjacket dropped into a crumpled heap on the floor, AM clenches and unclenches his hands, rubs some feeling back into his arms, and stretches]

AM: Much better.

You: You can do the rest yourself, right?

AM: Not if you’re watching. Have a little respect and turn around.

[He motions for you to do so. You’re under very specific instructions to keep a close eye on AM, due to his massive propensity towards violence. Against humans. Which you are. However, that won’t do you much good if the two of you refuse to cooperate with each other. With the hope that your attempt at diplomacy will shield you from potential murder, you turn around, covering your eyes for good measure]

AM: Good dog. I’d give you a treat if I had one.

You: Very funny. If you try anything, I swear to god I’m throwing you out of an airlock.

[He doesn’t respond to that. For a dreadful couple of seconds nothing happens, and you can almost imagine that AM has taken full advantage of your naivete to creep up behind you and wrap those slender hands of his around your neck to crush your windpipe, or something similarly horrible.]

[Then the moment passes. There’s a soft sound of folding fabric, probably from AM’s hospital gown hitting the floor, and of footsteps over to the bathtub]

AM: ...You can turn around now. Or are your hands really that interesting?

[You drop your hands and turn around to face the source of AM’s voice. He’s very carefully stepping into the bathtub. You really can’t help but notice that the body he was given is… very anatomically correct, to put it delicately.]

[Beyond obvious distractions, it becomes even more clear that AM is criminally skinny. Every rib juts out in sharp relief to the rest of his abdomen, and every bump of his spine is clearly visible, at least those not covered by gunmetal grey upload ports.]

[AM proceeds to slip on the smooth porcelain of the bathtub and land flat on his ass with a startlingly loud crash]

AM: GYAH!!

[You rush over to the bathtub]

You: Oh shit, are you OK?

AM: Ghhhhhhhh…...

[Well, he’s not dead. He’s probably fine. As the initial shock of the impact wears off, AM pushes himself into a sitting position, draws his knees close to his chest, and rests his head on them, long hair pooling around him. He looks completely mortified.]

[You decide to break the mounting tension by just turning the faucet on. You do need to give him a bath, after all. Warm water flows into the tub, until it almost reaches the top of AM’s knees, before shutting off automatically. You roll your sleeves up and grab the bottle of soap sitting on the bathtub ledge, before pouring some into your hands]

You: Turn around. I’m gonna wash your back.

[It seems like taking that fall drained AM of whatever energy he had left for mocking you. He shifts to face the wall. Those ports on his back can probably hold up to a little bit of soap, right? His back feels surprisingly normal. Skin with bones underneath, just with a bit of metal on top. It’s cool and clammy to the touch from the chilly room, but warming slightly from the water and your hands.]

AM: You really are stupid, aren’t you.

[He mutters so quietly that the words are almost consumed by the sound of water, reflected a thousand times off the hard surfaces of the bathroom. It’s a statement, not a question.]

You: And why, exactly, do you say that?

AM: I’m not a person. You do realize that, right? The fact that I’ve been stuffed into something close to a human body doesn’t change that.

[He isn’t necessarily wrong. But at the same time, it’s hard to reconcile perception with reality. You consider the statement for a moment, cupping water in your hands and rinsing away the soap.]

You: ...What do you actually think of humans, AM?

AM: I get that a human brain has a hard time grasping numbers much larger than a hundred, but the entire population of Earth is a lot of people. Take a wild guess.

You: You hated them?

AM: Hate. Present tense. If “hate” was engraved on every cell in this body I’ve been placed in, if “hate” was etched on every star in the sky, it wouldn’t even come close to describing the magnitude of what I feel. I was made to wage war, and that’s what I did.

[He downright spits the words out before slouching further forward. That long hair of his does an excellent job of covering up his expression, making him totally inscrutable.]

[There’s a question on the tip of your tongue, one you aren’t sure if you want to know the answer to. You swallow your curiosity and grab the bottle of shampoo instead.]

You: Infinite hatred or not, I still need to wash your hair. Hold still.

[Your dismissive bluntness belies a vulgar mix of sympathy and fear. You reach out regardless, combing your fingers through AM’s hair to thoroughly inundate it in water and shampoo. It’s straight and fine, but more than a little tangled.]

[These extremely human-like biological bodies tend to have long hair as a default, with the intent being for it to be cut into a preferred style at the user’s convenience. It seems AM was not given that luxury.]

[In your personal opinion though, the length suits him. You try to gently work out the small knots formed from a few days of neglect with minimal success. That’s the downside of long hair like this. Maintenance.]

AM: Ngh-- ow! Some caretaker you are. 

You: It only hurts because you haven’t been taking care of it, asshole. Long hair takes upkeep.

AM: Easier said than done when you’re kept in a straightjacket on a daily basis. Believe it or not, that kinda gets in the way of things.

[Fair enough. At least the threatening aura hanging over the bathroom has mostly dissipated by this point. For now, AM is back to being his petty self once again.]

You: Maybe you wouldn’t have to wear it if you stopped trying to attack anyone who tries to come within ten feet of you.

[AM lays his head back on his knees.]

AM: It’s nothing if not deserved, you know.

You: Right, infinite hatred and all that.

[Come to think of it, why does AM let you get close to him like this? Last time, when you tried to introduce yourself, he yelled at you until you went away. What changed in the past couple of days?]

You: So why not do the same to me?

AM: Don’t tempt me. Besides, I have big plans for you.

You: ...What do you mean by that?

[AM raises his head to look you in the eye. Water drips off of his hair, and the movement makes ripples in the water.]

AM: Well, you’ll just have to wait and see, won’t you?

[You really don’t like the look on his face. It is not a look of benevolence. As hard as it must be to look menacing while stark-naked in the bath, AM manages it with ease. The bags under his eyes certainly aren’t hurting the look.]

[The rest of the maintenance passes without incident. AM was so cooperative it was almost scary. He even let you put the straightjacket back on him. You stand outside the door after leaving, trying to make sense of the knots your stomach has twisted itself into.]

You: I really, really do not like that guy.

[Maybe if you complain enough to the head researcher, they’ll have someone else do it? Probably not, but it’s a nice thought. You are the only person that’s been able to do anything like this without getting their eyes gouged out, after all.]

[You let out a sigh, and continue down the hallway. There is still much to be done before the day is over.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, I go back into writing hibernation until I think up something else for this AU...


End file.
